Abandoning my Mother

What sacrifices have you made in life?

The biggest sacrifice I made is when I left my country of birth: Romania.

I had to do it for my life was going nowhere.

I left behind a middle aged mother, an ailing grandmother, my friends some of whom were about to get married… and I crossed a continent and an ocean.

The import of what I did was not unknown to me. I knew that I was killing my blood family since my leaving left them completely destitute.

My mother was working and my grandmother’s pension was coming in. But without a hard earner, a provider, and a fixer like I had since become, they were both doomed.

Every household needs a man. Without one, it is doomed. Every home needs a woman’s touch. Without it, there is no hearth. There is no Home.

I killed my mother’s household when I left.

I walked away from my friends. And that hurt them.

I thought that doing right by me was also going to be good for our relation. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

I lost my friends that day at the airport.

It hurts. It hurts real bad.

Now, they have moved on with their lives.

Perhaps, it’s time for me to embrace the truth and move on as well.

Hurt is good. It means you’re alive.

People, everything we do in life has consequences.

When you do something, it affects people.

We do not exist in a vacuum. We are all in the same boat.

When my grandmother passed away, I knew time would come that one day, I hoped and prayed to be as far removed into the future as could be, that my own mother would go.

And then, last year, she did go and when she went to God, I knew what I had done: I’d killed my mother.

I killed my family when I left them behind.

I killed my friendships. I was the architect of my loneliness, my isolation.

There are two things in life one should never upset or trifle with: family and friends.

I wonder if God would have me. Chances are He’d not touch this reprobate not even with His wrath.