This country is beautiful. There are no words that can describe its beauty.
Unfortunately, it is also a land ruled by petty theft, a disgraceful charlatan mentality, and outright rapacity.
Ah, and I forget it’s also very dirty and backward.
Foreign tourists are seen as walking money bags.
The few locals that seem to have an ounce of decency are rare and most people ignore foreigners with a nonchalance worthy of a better cause.
I for one wanted to reserve judgment for after the return home but a few conclusions are self-evident.
We won’t buy property in Türkiye.
And that has nothing to do with the location, food, or sights.
Our decision has everything to do with empirical observations.
1. Türkiye is a country inhabited by a majority of Turkish people. They speak Turkish only. They don’t usually speak English. When you run into those who speak it, you feel like hitting the jackpot.
2. In Türkiye, locals pay 20 liras to get into museums, foreign tourists pay 20 Euro or more. They have special queues and they can cut in when they feel like it.
3. In Türkiye, you pay special prices for suckers who don’t speak the language. That’s right. It’s called the tax on stupid foreigners who ignored why the EU didn’t let Türkiye into the club 20 years ago.
4. In Türkiye, you drink your water, that means you can litter at will. Why? Because it’s Türkiye. The place is a dump.
5. In Türkiye, you drink tap water, you can expect to lose 5-8 kg in 48 hours. It looks like Montezuma’s revenge, feels like cholera, smells like caca. Ah, it comes out both ways and until it gets outside your body, you pray for a quick absolution of your sins, followed by death.
6. In Türkiye, they sell dehydrated fruit after exposing it to the Sun for 24-48-150 hours.
7. In Türkiye, you consume street food at your peril. Remember those Instagram memes with a dude enjoying a burrito prepared by a dude scratching his butthole? Here, we saw a cook reach out for a piece of meat on the floor, pick it up, discard it with the same hand he used to prepare our order.
8. In Türkiye, they sell you a boat tour in the Bosporus, tell you to show up 30 minutes in advance. You show up 45 minute before, the boat is full. Sorry no refund. Enjoy 90 minutes standing.
9. Everybody drives exactly how they feel like driving that particular day. Against traffic, swerving between two lanes, going 50 on a 140 kmh highway, parking rules are nonexistent, and yes, the security checks only apply to locals. The moment the cops hear u speak English, “Let’s go!” That is you are free to go. No papers, no nothing. I guess that’s a plus.
Anyhow, I realize this ain’t a blog post. This is a rant.
But I realize now that if you come from the East, you’ll enjoy Türkiye. If you come from the West, you will not be coming back. It’s very simple math.
The locals know it and they bank on the short term gains. However, all I can say is this.
Türkiye’s booming tourism industry will go down like a bird shot by a 12 Ga #2 shot the moment a few Instagram influencers get swindled by Turkish people.
Nowadays, word of mouth works very fast and a country stands to lose a lot of $ in a matter of months.
And no, I won’t be buying property in Türkiye. I don’t expect to come back.
Götterdämmerung 