What quality do you value most in a friend?
The Romans used to value amicitia or friendship above all other institutions.
In their book, the familia extended beyond the uxorial network or blood kinship that define today our notion of what family means.
Back then, familia encompassed one’s wife, offspring, parents, cousins & al., and one’s friends.
In fact, the term was so far-reaching that it covered one’s freedmen or manumitted slaves, their domestic slaves, and all other dependents but was exclusive of one’s clients.
Btw, I reckon that not many people know the etymology of the word client.
A client used to designate one’s network of beneficiaries that would wait or call on a patron on a daily or weekly basis for the purpose of extracting either some form of pecuniary aid, support, influence, or other unrefined benefits.
In return, such people would (be expected to) vote for their benefactor or patron during the elections under the Republic. These benefactors were divided evenly between the senatorial and knightly orders.
Later on, after the morphing of the Roman Res Publica into the Monarchic Empire, such clients would gravitate towards the potentates of late Antiquity and Early Middle Ages, to form the basis of the proto-feudal system based on the allegiance and fealty oaths sworn by lesser nobles to the bigger seigneurs.
But during the Roman Antiquity, familia was quite larger than its modern counterpart, in same cases by several orders of magnitude.
To explain it better and to dumb it down for everyone, when Andrew Tate says that he couldn’t afford to be depressed in a Romanian gaol because he had 100 people in his employment and who depended on him for aid and support, well, let’s just say that way back then, a lot of patrons had a lot more clients depending on them, many orders of magnitude more.
As for friendship, Aristotle defined philia based on three different grounds for affection: utility, pleasure, and virtue. Of these, only the last merits our attention. For Virtue as the basis for friendship is the one true constant in our lives, that which makes us look out for the ‘absolute good‘ for our friends.
As for utility or pleasure, one cannot base their friendship on these, because neither last forever, and both stem from self-love.
However, as Aristotle observed, and I do concur with his empirical observations, a friendship based on virtue alone is not ‘real’, because it conflicts with perceived reality.
Biazesthai ta phainomena – what is apparent constrains [us].
Ethica Eudemia (book 7), the Ethica Nicomachea (book 8), and the Magna Moralia (book 2) – Aristotle
In reality, we love our friends because of what they can do for us, because we feel comfortable, accepted, protected and safe around them, and because we want only the best for them.
But to go back to the question at hand, I’d say that the first quality I value in a friend is steadfastness and absolute loyalty. And that my friends is rare. If you find yourself surrounded by loyal friends, hang on to them, for they are rarer than gold and more precious than diamonds.
You ought to spare no efforts, leave no stones unturned, and support them no matter the cost for they deserve your friendship, since they alone perceive the ‘absolute good‘ inside of you.
Götterdämmerung 